Narrative Editing Quetions

Brandon Carver

1.      Brandon’s essay is very genuine and believable. The events flow very well.

2.      I would correct the run-on sentences and spelling mistakes first and foremost. I would also add more detailed descriptions of certain events and places.

3.      I really like how Brandon sequenced the events in the story.

4.      The descriptions of the pure family bonding time was really moving to me. The story makes you realize the Brandon has a fun loving family that care about him.

Narrative Questions

Narrative Questions

·        I feel that my narrative is fairly engaging to the reader, although it may be able to be increased by being more descriptive.

·        My narrative is very sequential, there is a clear timeline.

·        My narrative could use a little more description, although it is decently strong in this area.

·        My narrative is especially strong in presenting important changes.

·        My narrative is told from my point of view.

·        The question of “How relevant is the story today?” is probably the weakest part of my narrative. This needs to be addressed.

·        I feel that my narrative presents a central idea (being that my mom has continually sacrificed in order to raise me).

Survey

1.      I greatly enjoy English classes, especially writing classes. I have always considered writing one of my talents and favorite pastimes.

2.      Shortstory, song, autobiography, nonfiction.

3.      Nonfiction, autobiographys, newspapers.

4.      This may sound cheesy, but I enjoy almost everything I do in school.

5.      D

6.      I adore classroom discussion. I enjoy listening to my peers’ view points and getting involved in scholarly debate with them.

7.      I typically lead discussions.

8.      When I have free time, I play video games, hang out with friends, or read. As far as extracurriculars go, I do mock trial, investment club, and do an internship at an HIV research lab.

9.      Over the weekend, I hung out with my best friend and went to a party celebrating the new job someone who used to work in my lab got. I really enjoyed it, it was interesting getting to speak with doctors and other exciting people.

10.  I suppose just that I am a good writer and liked to be challenged with writing assignments.

11.  I suppose the only question I have is how many writing assignments will we do this year.

1.      What did you think of this narrative?

a.       I thought this was very inspiring and well written. Helen Keller truly had an amazing story to tell.

2.      What was most interesting or engaging about it?

a. I thought the way in which she learned new words was very interesting. She could figure out the name for something just by touching it and having someone draw out the letters on her hand. This would be incredible for anyone, let alone a 7 year old.

3.      What surprised you?

a. The fact that she was able to vocalize these thoughts for someone to write down is astounding. I would not expect someone who was deaf and blind to be able to communicate this to someone.

4.      Did this change your outlook on Helen Keller at all? Why or why not?

a. I am already very familiar with Helen Keller’s story, so I know how amazing of a person she is. If someone was not familiar with her story, this narrative would most likely make them view has as what she truly is, a dedicated, intelligent, and special person.

5.      Copy and paste three examples of vivid detail and imagery that helped enhance the story

a.       1.) “As the cool stream gushed over one hand…”

2.) “The afternoon sun penetrated the mass of honeysuckle that covered the porch, and fell on my upturned face.”

3.) “My fingers lingered almost unconsciously on the familiar leaves and blossoms which had just come forth to greet the sweet southern spring.”

6. How can a narrative be more engaging than something like a biography? Why is it important to get someone's personal perspective?

            a. A narrative can be far more engaging than a biography because of both perspective it is written from and the writing style typical of the two types. Biographies are typically more dry and factual, while narratives are filled with exciting imagery. Also, biographies are written by someone else, while narratives are almost always written by the person themselves. It is important to get someone’s perspective because it is more meaningful to hear exactly what was going thought there head at that moment straight from them.

7. Make a bulleted list of some things you could write a narrative about

·        Growing up with a single parent.

·        Importance of going to college.

·        The Quest to go to college.

·        Working in an HIV research lab.

Where I'm from

Where I’m From

By Brylan H. May

I am from the rolling hills of Jackson, Ohio,

From the apple festival,

Playing games in the arcade and riding the cheesy rides.

I am from Gran’s apple pie,

Which filled the entire house with its sweet aroma.

I am from the farm out on 93,

And Easter egg hunts at Uncle Garry’s,

And the hot dog roasts over a crackling fire after we had finished.

I am from Nintendo 64 and Xbox,

With cousins from Oklahoma crowding around the T.V waiting to play James Bond.

I am from watching America’s Funniest Home Videos in Gran’s living room,

Watching people fall off of bicycles,

Laughing about how we “should have sent that one tape.”

I am from law dictionaries and medical journals,

From finance and biology textbooks.

I am from dreams of the Ivy League,

And making a better life for my future family than I had.

This is who I am,

What makes me me.